butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize