Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
