Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
