Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
the liver wants what the liver wants
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And then he peed in my hair
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