Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
