I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize