Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
