the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Randomize
