i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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