OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
