Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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