take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
