So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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