after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just googled if crying burns calories
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
