I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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