i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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