had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
