Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
