just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
