My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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