I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
