He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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