I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize