Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
