Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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