Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
