my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
