He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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