I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
