they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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