Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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