I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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