I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
