They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize