if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
