Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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