I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
