Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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