Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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