She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
