I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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