Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
