You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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