it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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