It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
