You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
