Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
