Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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