fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Girls should come with a carfax report
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
