Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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