I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
