Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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