I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
