Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize