Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
