the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
