it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
