my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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