How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
