she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it because I queefed?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
