Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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