her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
