i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
