playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
