We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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