I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
