I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
