something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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