Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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