I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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