u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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