So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
