you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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