Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
