Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
